Ahoy, or how to make economies

Recently I had to arrange another event abroad to the Côte d’Azur. I had to reserve yachts, cars, look for hairdressers that can come on yachts and for catering service on yachts for dinners. This trip comprised some SVPs and their wives and girlfriends, as well as the heroine of my previous tale. Once all of them were "shipped" to their final destination I had to deal with endless phone calls to arrange the most ridiculous things and caprices. One of them was a babysitter that I had to find in a matter of some hours. When I had a call from my boss on my cell phone at 9pm saying "Eva, I am so sorry to disturb you, but we need a babysitter and you are the only person in the world who can handle it fast and accurate. I am really sorry to disturb your evening. And by the way, try to find an American one!". Of course he is not sorry, he does not care, he thinks I am kind of a personal slave who has to wag my tale when master calls. And how the hell do you want me to find a babysitter quickly, taking into account time difference between NY and Europe and the fact that it has nothing to do with my work? I had to put earth and sky upside down, call my colleagues in European headquarters and coordinate all that hell in the middle of the night. I was glad when it was all over.
This trip had cost so much money. I had to rent a helicopter and a private jet and so on and on and on. Think of the silliest indulgence and I had to arrange it. Company paid just for everything. Imagine my surprise when later I was told by my boss that we have to look for a new hardware provider to make some economies in the department and some types of transportation used for work purposes (like reaching a local office) will not be reimburse any longer, because our company should watch after money you know, they do not grow on the trees. I say, cut the crap and just make the trip to Mediterranean less expensive and company will have money to reimburse their employees. It makes me soooo angry.

One of the ways to make career

I have another colleague and she made her way in the company by sleeping with upper management. She was the mistress of some VPs and she made part of enough of orgies to know the intimate details of the biggest part of our upper management in the headquarters. She even could travel a lot; often these people felt that they need her “very professional assistance” abroad. Thus she could make acquaintance with some of our high shots on post abroad.
When she just joined a company she was a receptionist and she said to people around "One day I will have my BMW and I will be a manager, you will see". This sounds like a B movie quote, but actually a position was created specially for her. You know she has to do things that nobody cares about and she even has an assistant to help her out. Her assistant has CFS(Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) since more then a year. It is to tell you if her work is hard.
Once a year she does a presentation in the big staff meeting. I always have to correct, polish and actually do a big part of her presentations beforehand. My boss asks me gently "I know Eva, it is not your job, but you do it so well, I am sure you would not mind to give a hand". Of course I do mind spending 2 days on making a complete absurd presentation about something that nobody cares, I have to make it attractive and insert as many impressive graphs as possible, with lots of colours and curbs showing positive things. Thus she can once a year show to us all how indispensable she is and how she helps this company. Anyhow, there is no way to prove it. You know what I mean, some things are just abstract. So combine abstract with unnecessary and you get nonsense. But as long as she’s needed in some manager’s bed, she’ll get well around here.

Project Manager with an odor

One of my colleagues is a real goat. I am sorry to call her like that; it is not nice to insult a goat. This person, who works as a Project Manager, HAS NO CLUE about what she does. She constantly says HMTL instead of HTML and she thinks that it is a database. Her favorite phrase is "what are the priorities". All her projects are total disasters. Every meeting is a constant battle for her and puts her in cold sweat because she has to mask her incompetence, ignorance and keep up appearances. Her team just makes fun of her behind her back. The funny thing is that she stays in this company for all these years and the only thing she does, apart receiving a salary, is to throw company's money out of the window. Well, after every project that she led ... to a complete disaster, she was moved to another department where she consistently continued screwing projects.
Her dullness expends to other areas too, it is like a virus. If you want to have the least memorable lunch ever, have it with her!!! She knows nothing; she heard no news, saw no places, thinks of nothing and has no opinions, no sense of humor, nothing, just dull and empty.
Oh I almost forgot, you know well when she is in your neighborhood or better to say you SMELL it. We all call her skunk, but I do not want to insult a skunk neither.
Gush, is it so difficult to buy a deodorant, take a shower every day and wash your clothes frequently. 100 years ago it was hard to do all that, as it is now in the jungle. But in New York... I do not understand.

Here I am

There are 2 types of secretaries, the cute and sexy ones and those who work. Well I am the second type. I am still sexy and all that stuff, but I really like to work well. In this big big company, I am a secretary to a hot shot of a large department, he has 3 secretaries, one to bring tea and go to lunches with, one to take his notes and to bring his car to the garage and me ... to work. So we can say that I am doing the work of 3 people and 1 personal assistant, I do as well little things on the side, like restaurant searching, calling his wife and mistress and so on. I am sitting in an open plan office and I can overlook on everyone, and I have a good hearing point from my desk. And oh my god do I hear and see things. I do, ... and it is because I cannot share with none what I hear and see that I really wanted to create this blog. And here I am and I will tell it all... no secrets, no mercy.